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Humor

 

 

Obama Flakes video, click here>>

 

 

JAY LENO'S SHOW

 

 

 

You Know the Honeymoon is Over When The Comedians Start Making Jokes Such As These

  

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

--Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonalds' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.

--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !

--Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.

--Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.

--David Letterma

 

 

 

JACK WEBB AND OBAMA

 

 

 

 

P 311 a Dangerous New Element.

 

Discovery Announcement ~ The densest element in the known Universe has been found!

 

 

 

Pelosium:

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densestelement yet known to science.  The new element has been named Pelosium.  Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 223 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

The symbol of Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VICTORIA JACKSON SINGS  "THERE IS A COMUNIST LIVING IN THE WHITE HOUSE" 

 

 

 

 

 

EVEN JON STEWART RIPS OBAMA'S BROKEN PROMISES 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SENATE UNVEILS COMPROMISE

by Andy Borowitz

 

The United States Senate today unveiled details of its healthcare plan, tentatively called CompromiseCare.

 

  • Under CompromiseCare, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their plans.
  • Medicare will be extended to 55-years-olds as soon as they turn 65.
  • You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.
  • States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.
  • You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.
  • You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.
  • A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.
  • You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.
  • Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman."
  • You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.

 

 

 

 JACKIE MASON - THE ULTIMATE JEW

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

RAY STEVENS - WE THE PEOPLE

 

 

 

 

 

Latest From News Busted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 







 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO TRILLION TONS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN )

for 6 am.


While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking,

he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and

tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA)

 

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today.

After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN )

to the radio (MADE IN INDIA )

he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY )

filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia )

and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

 

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day

checking his Computer (made in MALAYSIA ),

John decided to relax for a while.

 

He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL),

poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA

 

AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT

MADE IN KENYA...